Welcome back friends! This week brings us some delicious mandel bread (as promised) and a very special guest writer. Please give a warm welcome to Shira who has been kind enough to share some of her own journey as a Jewish mother. I adore Shira’s candid musings and I hope we can convince her to contribute more to this blog. No pressure Shira. I promise. Really, I do. Nudge, Nudge, wink, wink…nothing like Jewish guilt right? - Dara
Finding My Inner Balabusta
I never knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. But one thing I knew for sure I didn't want to become – a Balabusta.
First of all, it's in Yiddish and only old people speak Yiddish, not hip young women like myself. And second, a house wife? Me? Growing up after the feminist revolution, I was raised to believe that the world is my oyster and everything is possible. I will have a career, I will travel the world, I will do whatever men do only better.
And yet here I am, twenty something years later, with a husband, three kids, a part time job and a dog and that's exactly what I want to be – a Balabusta. And it's not as easy as I first thought! Being a Balabusta is not just about cooking dinner every night, cleaning the house and making sure everybody, including myself, is happy. If only it was that easy.
According to Wikipedia, “the traditional role of the Balabusta also includes, besides fulfilling the household duties for the family, its spiritual bonding and helping its members hold together.” And by “spiritual bonding” they mean Judaism. And now it gets complicated.
I don't know how to raise a Jewish family. I don't know how to make my kids proud of their heritage and know more about their religion. After all, both my husband and I were born and raised in Israel. Where you don't need to do anything in particular to be a Jew besides being born to a Jewish mother. The school system and society in general will take care of the rest so that as an adult you'll know enough about who you are and where you came from.
But here in California, 7,500 miles away from home, things are different. Born and raised in a secular family I first need to find my “Judaism Comfort Level”, decide “how much Jewish I want to be” and than find the right way to pass it on to my children in a way that will make them love and cherish the ancient and beautiful religion they belong to.
kreinie paltiel wrote...
We can never overemphasize the significance of education, particularly with children. Like a tree, every influence on a seedling will indicate what the full grown tree will be like. Will it grow straight and tall, with strong roots and quality fruit for others to enjoy? Will my child grow up to moral and principled, with a strong sense of faith and foundation, whose actions and good deeds benefit others?
Our sages teach “Educate a child according to his way, so that as he grows old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6) Simply put, a child’s Jewish learning should be memorable, meaningful, and fun, so that they don’t just love to learn about Judaism, but learn to love Judaism, too!
There is a tradition, that when we begin the formal education of a child, at age three, the child is given the Hebrew aleph bet coated in honey. The message then and always is that the Torah is the truest source of sweetness and joy.
Which reminds me, my tea is getting cold – can you pass the honey?
Dara wrote...
I love that I get to follow my daughter on her journey through Hebrew School. It helps deepen our own spiritual connection as mother and daughter. Too precious for words.