Jewish Moms' Blog

If nostalgia is "sentimental thoughts of the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations," then M.D.'s latest post filled me with a steaming mug full...
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Chai you doin?

Today’s Topic: What Can Chabad Hebrew School Do For You?

Today I ran across a Challah cover that my son made in Hebrew School 5 years ago. It’s not the prettiest thing you have ever seen since “artsy or artistic” is definitely not my son’s strong point and time has added a lovely, we’ll just call it “vintage” look to it. However, when I looked at it I was a little overcome with emotion because it brought back memories of our life before Chabad Hebrew School. Before Chabad Hebrew School, I contemplated if it was really a good option for our family. My thoughts were exceedingly focused on our level of observance. I wondered if everyone that sent their children there was super observant and I wondered if I or my son would even fit in. After much persuasion by my mother, I relented and called. I spoke with the Rebbetzin and while she made me feel so welcome I was still “on the fence” so to speak.

Fast forward the years and now I wonder what our life would have been, had it not been for Chabad Hebrew School. The “vintage” Challah cover was the very first Challah cover we ever had, as were the shabbily painted Shabbos Candles my son made, the Chanukah menorah and all the artistically challenged treasures made by our son that followed.

When I thought Chabad Hebrew School would leave my son reluctantly studying about Judaism; I found that he joyfully and genuinely loved Judaism more than I ever could have imagined. His joy and love for Judaism sparked something more inside our entire household and as we continue to grow in our understanding, knowledge and appreciation for Judaism all we can attribute this to is what Chabad Hebrew School did for us!

What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.

Have a wonderful summer!

~ M.D.

Enjoy these New Year musings from M.D...
 

Buh Bye 2011!

Oh where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday we were ringing in the 2011 New Year with high hopes and loads of resolutions. Little did we know, unemployment would reach an all time high, Charlie Sheen would be on a winning, tiger blood fueled crazy train; that the Arab world would have an uprising; and Occupy Wherever would be occupying everywhere! Now I don’t know if 2012 will be any better but I can promise it will be one day longer. J

While I made my resolutions months ago (that way I would be way ahead of the game) many still see every New Year as an opportunity to make a change for the better. Hence some simple affirmations I compiled to help you along the way:

1.)    Be yourself

2.)    Don’t blow with the wind

3.)    (Try to) Be positive

4.)    Never be too proud to ask for help

5.)    Think outside the box

6.)    Remember: Life isn’t always fair

7.)    Always try to make a good impression

8.)    Be kind

9.)    Choose your housemates carefully

10.)            Beauty is all around you

11.)            Be observant (in other words: Watch where you are going!)

12.)            Don’t hide your light under a bushel

13.)            Don’t be envious

14.)            Grow old gracefully

15.)            Never interrupt when you are being flattered

16.)            Plan Ahead

17.)            You can if you think you can

18.)            If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try and try again!

19.)            Forget insults, remember compliments

20.)            Be a good listener

21.)            Healthy body, healthy mind

22.)            Be a team player

23.)            Honesty is the best policy

24.)            It is better to give than to receive

25.)            Patience is a virtue

26.)            Learn to follow instructions

27.)            Always keep a great photo of yourself, even if you have to snap 118 shots to get it! :)

Happy New Year ~ M.D.  

And now for some cheery Chanukah thoughts by M.D...

There is just something about Chanukah that makes me feel so happy and warm. Nothing can get me down; not the lack of parking at my local stores, not the fact that the shops I want to enter have been taken over by more people than I ever imagined could be living in my county, not even the overload of cheer that adorns every square inch of the stores and as if that weren’t enough, blasts over the speakers. What can I say, I’m focused.

In our home we love lighting the menorah each night during Chanukah, we love the sufganiyot, the crispy potato latkes and pretty much anything we have as an excuse to deep fry! Now I will admit this tradition is very easy to love regardless of the calorie count and the fact that all this fried food has enough oil to keep them lit for 8 days in and of themselves, respectively. I also find myself wondering, does the tradition make Chanukah or does Chanukah make the tradition?  Now I know Chanukah came first but while in deep thought (I try not to hurt myself while doing this) I realize that these traditions are an extension of the miracles associated with Chanukah. Each and every thing involved in Chanukah traditions represents and recognize the depth and meaning of the holiday. From the candles lights that illuminate in darkness, to the oil that reminds us of the miracle that kept the ancient menorah lit in the temple for eight days and most importantly to the miracle of the Jewish people existing to this day because of the guiding hand of the Almighty. G-d’s promises alive and well every time we look into the eye of our fellow Jew.

I don’t know about you, but it’s enough to make me revel in the joy of Chanukah and all its wonderful traditions and as the menorah’s flames light up and warm our homes so does the Chanukah holiday bring in spiritual light during these dark winter days!

Happy Chanukah!

~ M.D.

 Hi everyone!
After some hibernation, the Jewish Mom's Blog is up and at it!
Enjoy this post from M.D.

Chai you doin?

Today’s Topic: Thanks a lot!

I know this sounds bad but I get extremely cynical when Thanksgiving rolls around. I know it may be hard to believe with all that good food that so gloriously abounds - I guess my real problem with it is the fraudulent gratitude it enforces: Now let us give thanks, and pass the mashed potatoes and gravy!

So what is there to be so thankful for when there is still so much more I want? What do I want? I want the good wine, it doesn’t have to be the best but a good $30 bottle instead of the… (I’m not even going to say since my integrity is at stake) to accompany a fantastic rib eye steak. A better and newer car would be good too like the fancy kind that come equipped with a GPS! Does anyone even know what a Thomas Guide is any more (am I the only one here raising my hand?) A bigger place to live too – not that I don’t like the condo we are in but come on, is it too much to want a house with a yard? Oh and a better job. Yep! A much better job! One that makes ends meet instead of making meet ends… or something like that. And how about the team I like actually winning a game or two (or 10).

O.K., do we really need more stuff? Are we on the quest for keeping up with the Jones’s instead of looking at all the little things that we really should be grateful for? Are the little things really “little things”? Is it right to relish the time between 6am and 7am when the sun is rising, the coffee is fresh and nobody is on your back yet (don’t answer that)? Are we afraid to slow down, stop, and smell the roses out of the worry that some other guy is going to move ahead of us in line?

Last year I had a colonoscopy (what Mazal!) and as I thought of the possible outcomes of this procedure and the testing that followed I began to reflect on my life and all those so called little things. What impeccable timing for an epiphany! I thought of G-d’s goodness: 1.) My healthy beautiful children whose precious hugs and kisses and cheerfulness make my days so much more enjoyable; all the while they are slowly destroying the contents of our humble abode. 2.) My wonderful husband who is the best father and mate a person could ever dream for. 3.) Then there are the family cars that take us were we need to go and which have proven to be extremely reliable (without the convenience of a GPS system). 4.) My cranky boss! That’s right! At least I have a job! Better a cranky boss then no boss! 5.) My little home sweet home. I’m sure there are some big homes out there in this great county of Orange whose residents do not get to experience the joy, peace and drama free tranquility that I am blessed to experience and I should recognize that size does not substitute for shalom in the home (for lack of a better term). Perhaps this realization made me feel quite foolish about not clinging to the beauty of the so called little things; yes, realizing enough to give myself a swift kick in the tuchas – colonoscopy notwithstanding.

While I’m still not one of those people that lights a candle at Thanksgiving and asks everyone to hold hands and chant a native Indian prayer, I still know that thanks and utmost gratitude should be given to G-d each and every day for every single blessing we enjoy. We should give thanks for the things we do not understand and the events in our lives that are yet to unfold. We should be thankful every single day for the miracle of being alive in the first place and for the purpose that each one of us has the ability to fulfill. With all of the pettiness that surrounds our every day lives; in the grand scheme of things, we are blessed beyond measure and it is time we (myself included) felt that way.

~M.D.

Today I want to share with you something that made Sukkot even more special this year. Here is a picture of my son holding the lulav and etrog shaped cookies he decorated at this years Pizza in a Hut Sukkot party.

Besides enjoying time with family and friends under the Sukkah hut, this picture represents an important milestone in my son’s life. This is the first time my son has been able to decorate and eat these cookies. This is the first time he was able to enjoy food at a holiday event. This is the first time I didn’t have to pack special food for my son. And this is the first time I was able to completely relax at a holiday event without worrying about my son.    

Living the first three years of his life with food allergies has been hard on all of us. We had to avoid milk, soy, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, seeds and seafood. I gave myself the title of “Queen Label Reader” because that was what I had to do to keep my son healthy. Although it has been incredibly stressful, my son is one of the lucky ones. He slowly began to outgrow his allergies. Last month was a big one for us…he passed his peanut challenge. So this picture represents much more than a happy three year old enjoying his cookies. This picture represents the joy I felt in telling my son that he could decorate the cookies.  And as big as his smile is in this picture, mine was even bigger behind the camera. We are truly blessed.

The High Holidays proved to be extra meaningful for me this year. Besides enjoying the services at the Chabad of Laguna Niguel, I saw my daughter experience the Holidays with a new level of maturity. The discussions we had regarding our goals for the New Year were precious. “Mama, I am going to work harder at school, Hebrew school and dance classes. I will try and be nicer to my brother this year. I would also like a new American Girl doll.” I had to chuckle at the last part. After all, she is only 8 years old.

And what would Rosh Hashanah be without gorgeous, round challah? Right before the Holidays my husband and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary by taking our first vacation without the kids. I am forever grateful that my Mother was able (and willing) to watch my kids for the week. My 8 year old is easy. My 3 year old is a mazek.   Knowing my Mom had her hands full while we were gone; I was surprised to find all this challah goodness waiting for me in my freezer! 

My kids always have a great time making challah with their Savta Bobbi. And when I say “make”, I am not just talking the braiding of the dough. My Mom involves them in the whole baking process. She even allows my 3 year old to crack the eggs!  

Let me tell you that the challah doesn’t just look amazing, it tastes a-m-a-z-i-n-g! Oh, I know that you all may think your Mother/Grandmother/Aunt makes the best challah…but I’m convinced my Mom’s challah is the best. Somehow, her challah tastes buttery although it is completely parve. You can tear a piece off and there are no crumbs left behind because the challah has the perfect amount of moisture. When she adds chocolate chips, the challah turns into a rich, sweet bread that my kids love to eat for dessert.   

But wait, it gets better! My Mom can also shape the challah into Hebrew letters. How cool is this???

But there is much more to these beautiful challah letters than baking prowess. In the August/September/October issue of Beth Chaim’s online newsletter, Janet Freiman shares what makes these challahs so special.

“We knew that Bobbi is a Hebrew School teacher and is the main organizer and orchestrator of the wonderful food at the Ruachs and Friday night onegs. What we didn’t realize was that in addition to being available to hire for Bar or Bat Mitzvah onegs, Bobbi offers each B’nei Mitzvah student the opportunity to come to her home and bake the challah that will be used at that student’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This isn’t just a time to work; Bobbi talks about Judaism and cooking and life and, in the process, forms a relationship with teenagers as they’re forming the letters of their name challah.”

What a special gift my Mom gives to the children of Beth Chaim! And what a special gift she gives to my own kids each time they bake challah with their Savta!

By the way, my freezer is now empty. Hopefully, my Mom can visit soon and fill it up with some more challah…or kugel…or cookies…or brownies…hey, I’m not picky – just hungry!

Wow, it really has been awhile since I last posted on this blog.  Forgive me!  Between my daughter’s school play and potty training my 3 year old, life became a little more hectic than usual.  On the bright side, my daughter made the cutest Dalmatian pup in her school play.  One, two, three……awwwwww!

And we also discovered that super-hero underwear and bribery was all it took for my son to become potty trained (hurray for jelly beans!) 

Thankfully, before chaos set into our household we had the chance to enjoy a wonderful Passover.  I hope you all enjoyed time with your family and friends during the holiday as well.  I could write a novel about all the beautiful traditions involved in celebrating Passover but I thought I would share one of my favorite family traditions.  Delicious, glorious, Strawberry Fluff!  It’s a wonderful strawberry sherbet type dessert that tastes great with my Mom’s Passover sponge cake.  It even makes for a great breakfast…okay, that’s just me finding more reasons to indulge!  But honestly, it is made with fresh strawberries so that clearly should count as part of a nutritious breakfast…right?

Strawberry Fluff is more than just a yummy dessert.  It’s filled with a lot of memories. I remember helping my Mom strain the pureed strawberries and licking the escaped juice off of the spatula.  Now, I have the joy of watching my own daughter help me make Strawberry Fluff.  And guess what?  I smile and pretend to look the other way when I see her little finger scrape the inside of the bowl.  I’m quite sure my Mom did the same thing. J 

This picture fills my heart with love!

 And this picture just makes me hungry.

And unrelated to the Strawberry Fluff...check out the cutest Seder plate my brother and his wife sent to my kids!  The missing shankbone is another story....let's just be thankful that there is a lovely cartoon image of it already on the plate.

As always, I invite you to share any stories or memories that come to mind.  And remember, you are always welcome to share your stories with a post of your own!

Hello 2010!  I hope you all enjoyed your December and had your fill of latkes, dreidels and family time.  Kreine’s last post talked about how grateful she was for her Village.  Well let me tell you, being a part of Kreine’s Village during Hanukkah this year was extremely fulfilling.  I have so many fabulous memories.  From celebrating with the Jewish Woman’s Group with a Latkes and Latte night to frying up sufganyot with the Hebrew School, I am truly thankful.

This Hanukkah also provided some unexpected, but treasured moments.  The first started when my 7 year old daughter asked for an American Girl doll for Hanukkah.  If you know anything about American Girl dolls, you know that these dolls are expensive.  Seriously friends, how can a doll cost $100?  Let’s not even mention the matching accessories!  For the last few years I have had no problem brushing aside any American Girl talk. 

This year however, my daughter asked for the new American Girl doll named Rebecca…and she’s Jewish.   Wait, stop the presses!  She’s Jewish?  Okay, that peaked my interest.  According to the American Girl website, Rebecca Rubin is “a girl growing up in New York City in 1914.  Rebecca celebrates treasured traditions passed down through her Russian-Jewish family.”  Rebecca’s story parallels my own family’s history.  All of a sudden, a $100 doll seemed reasonable (well to me at least!).  And yes, my daughter is now the proud owner of a Rebecca doll.  As it turns out, Rebecca has become my own unexpected treasure.  As I read the Rebecca book series with my daughter it has provided countless opportunities to talk with her about how her own Great-Great Grandmother emigrated from Russia.  My father has even been kind enough to email my daughter with family stories from the same time period.  The interweaving of our family’s rich history with Rebecca’s story helps bring Rebecca to life.  You should have seen the look in my daughter’s eyes when I gave her a doily that her Great-Great Grandmother made…just like the doilies Rebecca makes and sells in her own story! 

The next unexpected moment bring laughter to my heart.  During the Chabad of Laguna Niguel’s wonderful Menorah lighting ceremony, candles were passed to each individual.  When I refused to give one to my 2 ½ year old son he broke down into tears.  A candle I would let him hold…a lit candle, no way.  I reached for something in my pocket to distract him and found a Wall-E Pez dispenser.  As we all held our lit candles in prayer, my son proudly waved his Pez dispenser in prayer.  How could I not laugh?  By the way, this is also the son who changed the words of “Oh Hanukkah” to include:

 “…gather round’ the table we’ll give you a treat…dreidels to play with and latkes to eat.  And Kreine gives me Otter Pops, and Kreine gives me Otter Pops!” 

Once again, thank you friends for allowing me to share my stories.  I invite you to share your own stories with our community.  Please feel free to leave a comment if you would like a post of your own.  I would love to give you the floor!

Hi there Dara I hope its allright
If I post my thoughts on the blog tonight
Of you and many others I'd like to speak
As I share mom to mom my experience this week
This message is for all of you
For all that you've done & continue to do...


There's an age old saying that most everyone knows
"It takes a village to raise a child" is basically how it goes
Well this week I discovered how true it is, and more -
The village that I live in is one that I adore
With a kick I didn't see coming I had landed in bed
My girls and I caught the flu-with aches from toe to head
Dad was out of town for a family celebration
So my Village Family rose to the occasion
The emails, thoughtful calls, they weren't merely polite
"Can I shop? Can I cook? How can make it right?"
"I'd be happy to drive dovi to catch the Irvine bus"
All without fanfare, attention or fuss
Groceries, supplies & medicine arrived at my door
If I asked for something, you brought me that, and more!
Books & videos for the kids, even flowers for me
"Can I come cook you chicken soup or make a pot of tea?"
Well by now I must admit it was getting hard to speak
(But not because of the fever that had made me weak)
I was left speechless by the genuine concern and care
The support & the love by my Family out here
I truly don't know what I would have otherwise done
Feeling so sick, with sick little ones
So now you know how I know, the age old saying's true
And why I feel blessed to be living in the same village as you.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you again
May we share in one another's healthy, happy occasions!

My friends, have you ever experienced something that breaks your heart and makes you laugh at the same time? Last year I experienced such a moment and I would love to share it with you. You see, in that moment of conflicting emotions I found myself inspired to learn more about prayer. I know inspiration can happen when we least expect it. I just never guessed it would happen while I fought the urge to cry and laugh.   So please, come on in and sit down. It’s a little chilly this morning so I made some hot chocolate to warm you up.

Let me tell you about Goldie, Bessie, and Sophie.  You may think I am talking about my Mother’s friends from Mahjong, but alas, they were the names of my daughter’s beloved (and departed) goldfish. I had no idea how hard it would be to take care of goldfish. My husband and I were plunged into a world of PH balanced water, smelly fish food, filters, and rock cleaners. I advise you to visit the University of “Google” to research goldfish care before you let your child play any carnival game that lists “goldfish in a bag” as a prize.

Goldie and Bessie were the first to join our happy home. All went well for the first two weeks until Bessie came down with fish tail rot. I don’t want to go into all the details as to how and why fish tails can rot, but let’s just say it isn’t pretty.  As Bessie’s tail began to disintegrate, Goldie started to follow her around the tank and constantly nip at her. In the beautiful, innocent eyes of my daughter, she found it sweet that Goldie was”helping” Bessie get around the tank. Unfortunately, all that “helping” landed poor Bessie into the tank filter where she met her end.  My daughter was the one to discover Bessie and ran crying into my arms. My heart broke as I hugged my child tight and watched my husband mouth the words, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”

Call me naïve, but I just assumed everyone knows the first rule of Fish 101. It’s the unwritten (but quite clear) rule that states that when a beloved fish passes, you are supposed to place it in the toilet, have your child say a quick goodbye, say a prayer and then flush.  Guess what? My husband clearly did not know the rules of Fish 101. As I comforted my crying child he came back into the room and mouthed, “I took care of it.” I gave him a confused look to which he responded with a hand gesture indicating he had flushed her down the toilet. In return, I gave him the look I usually reserve for my 2 year old before he is placed in a time-out.  I mouthed back (while shouting in my head) “She didn’t get a chance to say goodbye! You better figure something out!” 

Are you still with me? Anyone want marshmallows in your hot cocoa? Trust me; this does lead to laughter and my own Judaic inspiration.  

My husband leaves the room and comes back with a huge ball of toilet paper in his hands. My daughter was then led to believe that Bessie was wrapped deep inside the toilet paper ball. The whole family walked to the bathroom and my husband carefully placed “Bessie” in the water. We then encouraged our daughter to say something nice about her fish. “Bessie loved to swim around her mermaid statue. I’ll miss her.” Sweet right? Then it comes to me. I wanted to say a prayer that would celebrate G-d and comfort my child. Only two prayers came to mind.  Since the blessing over bread was clearly inappropriate, I went with my other choice which was the Shema. In that moment, I realized how much more I wanted to connect with prayer.  Why did I only know a couple prayers by heart? What prayers did I want my children to know by heart? What prayers did I want to be a constant in my family’s life? As it turns out, after talking with Kreine, the Shema was an appropriate prayer. Kreine, this is your cue to add a comment! 

And now here is the moment that led to laughter. After reciting the Shema, we had my daughter flush. Tears flowed as the water went down. Those tears quickly turned to cries of horror as our toilet became clogged and the ball of toilet paper (or Bessie in my child’s eye) quickly began to rise to the top threatening to overflow. Now my child was sad and traumatized. I hugged my daughter and hid my head in her hair while I bit down peals of laughter. How could I not find humor in such a ridiculous moment? 

By the time Goldie and Sophie passed, my husband was properly schooled in Fish 101. Both fish would have their proper goodbyes without clogging the toilet. Unfortunately, we did have a slight “hiccup” when it was time for Goldie and Sophie’s farewell. As we flushed Goldie and Sophie, one of the fish decided to make a last hurrah and start swimming in circles.  Realizing one of the fish was still alive my children started to scream and cry. Unfortunately, it was too late. That’s why if you ever ask my daughter what happened to Goldie and Sophie, she will tell you that they went to visit the ocean next to Florida before going to be with G-d.   How is that for creativity on the spot?

So now I ask, what prayers inspire you?

Welcome back friends! This week brings us some delicious mandel bread (as promised) and a very special guest writer.   Please give a warm welcome to Shira who has been kind enough to share some of her own journey as a Jewish mother. I adore Shira’s candid musings and I hope we can convince her to contribute more to this blog. No pressure Shira. I promise. Really, I do. Nudge, Nudge, wink, wink…nothing like Jewish guilt right? - Dara

Finding My Inner Balabusta 

I never knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. But one thing I knew for sure I didn't want to become – a Balabusta. 

First of all, it's in Yiddish and only old people speak Yiddish, not hip young women like myself. And second, a house wife? Me? Growing up after the feminist revolution, I was raised to believe that the world is my oyster and everything is possible. I will have a career, I will travel the world, I will do whatever men do only better.

And yet here I am, twenty something years later, with a husband, three kids, a part time job and a dog and that's exactly what I want to be – a Balabusta. And it's not as easy as I first thought! Being a Balabusta is not just about cooking dinner every night, cleaning the house and making sure everybody, including myself, is happy. If only it was that easy.

According to Wikipedia, “the traditional role of the Balabusta also includes, besides fulfilling the household duties for the family, its spiritual bonding and helping its members hold together.” And by “spiritual bonding” they mean Judaism. And now it gets complicated.

I don't know how to raise a Jewish family. I don't know how to make my kids proud of their heritage and know more about their religion. After all, both my husband and I were born and raised in Israel. Where you don't need to do anything in particular to be a Jew besides being born to a Jewish mother. The school system and society in general will take care of the rest so that as an adult you'll know enough about who you are and where you came from.

But here in California, 7,500 miles away from home, things are different. Born and raised in a secular family I first need to find my “Judaism Comfort Level”, decide “how much Jewish I want to be” and than find the right way to pass it on to my children in a way that will make them love and cherish the ancient and beautiful religion they belong to.