Jewish Moms' Blog

Wow, it really has been awhile since I last posted on this blog.  Forgive me!  Between my daughter’s school play and potty training my 3 year old, life became a little more hectic than usual.  On the bright side, my daughter made the cutest Dalmatian pup in her school play.  One, two, three……awwwwww!

And we also discovered that super-hero underwear and bribery was all it took for my son to become potty trained (hurray for jelly beans!) 

Thankfully, before chaos set into our household we had the chance to enjoy a wonderful Passover.  I hope you all enjoyed time with your family and friends during the holiday as well.  I could write a novel about all the beautiful traditions involved in celebrating Passover but I thought I would share one of my favorite family traditions.  Delicious, glorious, Strawberry Fluff!  It’s a wonderful strawberry sherbet type dessert that tastes great with my Mom’s Passover sponge cake.  It even makes for a great breakfast…okay, that’s just me finding more reasons to indulge!  But honestly, it is made with fresh strawberries so that clearly should count as part of a nutritious breakfast…right?

Strawberry Fluff is more than just a yummy dessert.  It’s filled with a lot of memories. I remember helping my Mom strain the pureed strawberries and licking the escaped juice off of the spatula.  Now, I have the joy of watching my own daughter help me make Strawberry Fluff.  And guess what?  I smile and pretend to look the other way when I see her little finger scrape the inside of the bowl.  I’m quite sure my Mom did the same thing. J 

This picture fills my heart with love!

 And this picture just makes me hungry.

And unrelated to the Strawberry Fluff...check out the cutest Seder plate my brother and his wife sent to my kids!  The missing shankbone is another story....let's just be thankful that there is a lovely cartoon image of it already on the plate.

As always, I invite you to share any stories or memories that come to mind.  And remember, you are always welcome to share your stories with a post of your own!

Hello 2010!  I hope you all enjoyed your December and had your fill of latkes, dreidels and family time.  Kreine’s last post talked about how grateful she was for her Village.  Well let me tell you, being a part of Kreine’s Village during Hanukkah this year was extremely fulfilling.  I have so many fabulous memories.  From celebrating with the Jewish Woman’s Group with a Latkes and Latte night to frying up sufganyot with the Hebrew School, I am truly thankful.

This Hanukkah also provided some unexpected, but treasured moments.  The first started when my 7 year old daughter asked for an American Girl doll for Hanukkah.  If you know anything about American Girl dolls, you know that these dolls are expensive.  Seriously friends, how can a doll cost $100?  Let’s not even mention the matching accessories!  For the last few years I have had no problem brushing aside any American Girl talk. 

This year however, my daughter asked for the new American Girl doll named Rebecca…and she’s Jewish.   Wait, stop the presses!  She’s Jewish?  Okay, that peaked my interest.  According to the American Girl website, Rebecca Rubin is “a girl growing up in New York City in 1914.  Rebecca celebrates treasured traditions passed down through her Russian-Jewish family.”  Rebecca’s story parallels my own family’s history.  All of a sudden, a $100 doll seemed reasonable (well to me at least!).  And yes, my daughter is now the proud owner of a Rebecca doll.  As it turns out, Rebecca has become my own unexpected treasure.  As I read the Rebecca book series with my daughter it has provided countless opportunities to talk with her about how her own Great-Great Grandmother emigrated from Russia.  My father has even been kind enough to email my daughter with family stories from the same time period.  The interweaving of our family’s rich history with Rebecca’s story helps bring Rebecca to life.  You should have seen the look in my daughter’s eyes when I gave her a doily that her Great-Great Grandmother made…just like the doilies Rebecca makes and sells in her own story! 

The next unexpected moment bring laughter to my heart.  During the Chabad of Laguna Niguel’s wonderful Menorah lighting ceremony, candles were passed to each individual.  When I refused to give one to my 2 ½ year old son he broke down into tears.  A candle I would let him hold…a lit candle, no way.  I reached for something in my pocket to distract him and found a Wall-E Pez dispenser.  As we all held our lit candles in prayer, my son proudly waved his Pez dispenser in prayer.  How could I not laugh?  By the way, this is also the son who changed the words of “Oh Hanukkah” to include:

 “…gather round’ the table we’ll give you a treat…dreidels to play with and latkes to eat.  And Kreine gives me Otter Pops, and Kreine gives me Otter Pops!” 

Once again, thank you friends for allowing me to share my stories.  I invite you to share your own stories with our community.  Please feel free to leave a comment if you would like a post of your own.  I would love to give you the floor!

Hi there Dara I hope its allright
If I post my thoughts on the blog tonight
Of you and many others I'd like to speak
As I share mom to mom my experience this week
This message is for all of you
For all that you've done & continue to do...


There's an age old saying that most everyone knows
"It takes a village to raise a child" is basically how it goes
Well this week I discovered how true it is, and more -
The village that I live in is one that I adore
With a kick I didn't see coming I had landed in bed
My girls and I caught the flu-with aches from toe to head
Dad was out of town for a family celebration
So my Village Family rose to the occasion
The emails, thoughtful calls, they weren't merely polite
"Can I shop? Can I cook? How can make it right?"
"I'd be happy to drive dovi to catch the Irvine bus"
All without fanfare, attention or fuss
Groceries, supplies & medicine arrived at my door
If I asked for something, you brought me that, and more!
Books & videos for the kids, even flowers for me
"Can I come cook you chicken soup or make a pot of tea?"
Well by now I must admit it was getting hard to speak
(But not because of the fever that had made me weak)
I was left speechless by the genuine concern and care
The support & the love by my Family out here
I truly don't know what I would have otherwise done
Feeling so sick, with sick little ones
So now you know how I know, the age old saying's true
And why I feel blessed to be living in the same village as you.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you again
May we share in one another's healthy, happy occasions!

My friends, have you ever experienced something that breaks your heart and makes you laugh at the same time? Last year I experienced such a moment and I would love to share it with you. You see, in that moment of conflicting emotions I found myself inspired to learn more about prayer. I know inspiration can happen when we least expect it. I just never guessed it would happen while I fought the urge to cry and laugh.   So please, come on in and sit down. It’s a little chilly this morning so I made some hot chocolate to warm you up.

Let me tell you about Goldie, Bessie, and Sophie.  You may think I am talking about my Mother’s friends from Mahjong, but alas, they were the names of my daughter’s beloved (and departed) goldfish. I had no idea how hard it would be to take care of goldfish. My husband and I were plunged into a world of PH balanced water, smelly fish food, filters, and rock cleaners. I advise you to visit the University of “Google” to research goldfish care before you let your child play any carnival game that lists “goldfish in a bag” as a prize.

Goldie and Bessie were the first to join our happy home. All went well for the first two weeks until Bessie came down with fish tail rot. I don’t want to go into all the details as to how and why fish tails can rot, but let’s just say it isn’t pretty.  As Bessie’s tail began to disintegrate, Goldie started to follow her around the tank and constantly nip at her. In the beautiful, innocent eyes of my daughter, she found it sweet that Goldie was”helping” Bessie get around the tank. Unfortunately, all that “helping” landed poor Bessie into the tank filter where she met her end.  My daughter was the one to discover Bessie and ran crying into my arms. My heart broke as I hugged my child tight and watched my husband mouth the words, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”

Call me naïve, but I just assumed everyone knows the first rule of Fish 101. It’s the unwritten (but quite clear) rule that states that when a beloved fish passes, you are supposed to place it in the toilet, have your child say a quick goodbye, say a prayer and then flush.  Guess what? My husband clearly did not know the rules of Fish 101. As I comforted my crying child he came back into the room and mouthed, “I took care of it.” I gave him a confused look to which he responded with a hand gesture indicating he had flushed her down the toilet. In return, I gave him the look I usually reserve for my 2 year old before he is placed in a time-out.  I mouthed back (while shouting in my head) “She didn’t get a chance to say goodbye! You better figure something out!” 

Are you still with me? Anyone want marshmallows in your hot cocoa? Trust me; this does lead to laughter and my own Judaic inspiration.  

My husband leaves the room and comes back with a huge ball of toilet paper in his hands. My daughter was then led to believe that Bessie was wrapped deep inside the toilet paper ball. The whole family walked to the bathroom and my husband carefully placed “Bessie” in the water. We then encouraged our daughter to say something nice about her fish. “Bessie loved to swim around her mermaid statue. I’ll miss her.” Sweet right? Then it comes to me. I wanted to say a prayer that would celebrate G-d and comfort my child. Only two prayers came to mind.  Since the blessing over bread was clearly inappropriate, I went with my other choice which was the Shema. In that moment, I realized how much more I wanted to connect with prayer.  Why did I only know a couple prayers by heart? What prayers did I want my children to know by heart? What prayers did I want to be a constant in my family’s life? As it turns out, after talking with Kreine, the Shema was an appropriate prayer. Kreine, this is your cue to add a comment! 

And now here is the moment that led to laughter. After reciting the Shema, we had my daughter flush. Tears flowed as the water went down. Those tears quickly turned to cries of horror as our toilet became clogged and the ball of toilet paper (or Bessie in my child’s eye) quickly began to rise to the top threatening to overflow. Now my child was sad and traumatized. I hugged my daughter and hid my head in her hair while I bit down peals of laughter. How could I not find humor in such a ridiculous moment? 

By the time Goldie and Sophie passed, my husband was properly schooled in Fish 101. Both fish would have their proper goodbyes without clogging the toilet. Unfortunately, we did have a slight “hiccup” when it was time for Goldie and Sophie’s farewell. As we flushed Goldie and Sophie, one of the fish decided to make a last hurrah and start swimming in circles.  Realizing one of the fish was still alive my children started to scream and cry. Unfortunately, it was too late. That’s why if you ever ask my daughter what happened to Goldie and Sophie, she will tell you that they went to visit the ocean next to Florida before going to be with G-d.   How is that for creativity on the spot?

So now I ask, what prayers inspire you?

Welcome back friends! This week brings us some delicious mandel bread (as promised) and a very special guest writer.   Please give a warm welcome to Shira who has been kind enough to share some of her own journey as a Jewish mother. I adore Shira’s candid musings and I hope we can convince her to contribute more to this blog. No pressure Shira. I promise. Really, I do. Nudge, Nudge, wink, wink…nothing like Jewish guilt right? - Dara

Finding My Inner Balabusta 

I never knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. But one thing I knew for sure I didn't want to become – a Balabusta. 

First of all, it's in Yiddish and only old people speak Yiddish, not hip young women like myself. And second, a house wife? Me? Growing up after the feminist revolution, I was raised to believe that the world is my oyster and everything is possible. I will have a career, I will travel the world, I will do whatever men do only better.

And yet here I am, twenty something years later, with a husband, three kids, a part time job and a dog and that's exactly what I want to be – a Balabusta. And it's not as easy as I first thought! Being a Balabusta is not just about cooking dinner every night, cleaning the house and making sure everybody, including myself, is happy. If only it was that easy.

According to Wikipedia, “the traditional role of the Balabusta also includes, besides fulfilling the household duties for the family, its spiritual bonding and helping its members hold together.” And by “spiritual bonding” they mean Judaism. And now it gets complicated.

I don't know how to raise a Jewish family. I don't know how to make my kids proud of their heritage and know more about their religion. After all, both my husband and I were born and raised in Israel. Where you don't need to do anything in particular to be a Jew besides being born to a Jewish mother. The school system and society in general will take care of the rest so that as an adult you'll know enough about who you are and where you came from.

But here in California, 7,500 miles away from home, things are different. Born and raised in a secular family I first need to find my “Judaism Comfort Level”, decide “how much Jewish I want to be” and than find the right way to pass it on to my children in a way that will make them love and cherish the ancient and beautiful religion they belong to.

Welcome to our first Jewish Mother’s group blog post! Come on in and have a seat. There is plenty of room! Here, let me give you some chocolate chip cookies to go with your coffee. Pssst…the secret ingredient is Rice Krispies. It makes the cookies crunchy without using nuts. Delicious right? I credit my Mother for that little secret. Isn't it amazing how many little pearls of wisdom get passed down each generation? Of course, I have yet to see my Mother's wisdom in collecting empty margarine containers.  When I was little, I remember she had friends from bingo who would make purses out of margarine containers. Seriously! They crocheted a top with a drawstring right onto the container. I actually found a picture on the web at http://www.jpfun.com: 

Though I don’t see purse making in my future (or my Mother's) I find myself collecting them…who knows when I may need them right? But I digress…back to pearls of wisdom.

 I am blessed to have a Mother who helped raise me as a Jew and pass down all of her own pearls of wisdom. Now, I have the honor of raising my own children and teaching them the beauty of Judaism. My journey however, is very different from my Mother’s. I married my best friend and love of my life...and he isn’t Jewish. Although he supports raising our children as Jews, it is ultimately up to me to guide them until they are ready for their own journey. 

As Women, Mothers, Grandparents, Sisters and Friends…we each have our own journey in Judaism. This blog is about sharing our journeys. I open this up to you. Please let this be a place you can come for a quick read, maybe a little laugh, or smile, and even a place you can share something of your own journey. Trust me; I have lots of great ideas to post. I prefer to laugh my way through the ups and downs of my day. Feel free to make yourself at home.

 Who am I?

 My name is Dara.

I am the proud Mother of a 7 year old girl and 2 ½ year old boy.

I would love to meet and hug the inventor of the crock pot.

I subscribe to an obscene amount of cooking magazines.

I love to promote play and parks on another blog. Check out www.funorangecountyparks.com  

I am a fan of using ellipsis whenever possible.  Who doesn't love those little dots...

I love my life.

I am so very proud to be a Jewish Woman!

A very special thanks to Kreine for allowing me this fabulous creative outlet! I look forward to sharing with you all. Now stay and finish your cookies. I plan to serve mandel bread next week.